![]() UK law requires one-party consent, and I consent, so that’s me covered from a legal perspective. “But I don’t consent to you recording my calls, so you can’t!” they exclaim. We don’t mind replacing verbal communication with written WhatsApp and Messenger chats – our thoughts and dialogue forever imprinted on phones, servers and in the ether where they can be accessed by a third party – but the minute someone knows you recorded your call with them, it’s like you filmed them in the shower. I know it is hard to get perspective when this is how I live, day in, day out, but the hypocrisy is staggering. It still amazes me how upset people get about the footage and the tapes. The problem is that if lying is in your blood, then so is suspicion and paranoia. You can’t learn to lie, you’ll always trip up, and in bandit country that’s a risk your firm simply cannot afford to take. This is the key to it all: You’ve got to be a natural-born liar. It’s a zero-sum game we are playing here. I pour a full glass of scotch and down it, job is done and my 100 percent strike rate still intact.įleeting sympathy for my prey? That disappears in a flash. Not only is the case cracked, but infiltrating a rival outfit also makes us look very good indeed, and promotes our reputation into the Premier League. “I don’t know what you did to get her to sing like that, and I’d probably rather not know either, but that’s a serious score – the client will love that.” He sticks faithfully to the need-to-know principle when it comes to the rank and file like me.īut once I read out to him the full list, he confirms our success with a rare show of appreciation. He doesn’t stop me when I get to the name of our client. ![]() In theory, he’s right – if anyone in our mob was that loose-lipped, there would be hell to pay and hearses to arrange – but in practice, he’s wrong. “Don’t be stupid, she’d never give you that list – she’d be suicidal if she did.” Eight weeks of grade-A grooming, and she’s ended up reading me a list of every client they work for and every target. Guy already knows it is mission complete from the tone of my voice and the tremor in my throat.Īnd I do, delivering all the information spilled by my source at the rival spy firm. I’m rattling off my words like a gatling gun. “Guy, Guy, you won’t believe what she told me, seriously man, it’s gold …” He probably enjoys making me wait, but today I don’t care. ![]() I can’t wait to bask in his praise, like a puppy bounding back to his owner with the stick clamped proudly between his jaws. Two months later I’m frantically dialling Guy. That’s the problem with this job – there is nothing that excites me so much, but nothing that turns me off like the chain of command. He likes hierarchy, so it doesn’t hurt to stroke his ego. I can’t be bothered to argue, couldn’t care less anyway, so I give a fake pout and act hurt. “If you needed to know, I’d have already told you” Guy arches his eyebrow, tilts his head back with a sneer. Force of habit, but a waste of time as ever. I ask an obvious question, and I get an obvious answer. ![]() I’ll WhatsApp it to you now, and you can get to work.” There’s barely any information about their MO or the type of clients they work for, but we’ve got a list of all their employees, which is a start. Run of the mill so far, so I give a bored nod and take a languid drag on my cigarette. We know who the spies are, and our task is to discover the identity of Company A.” Company A has hired an intel firm to spy on Company B. ![]()
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